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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27455017">ii. cringe (english version)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/xbeauxny/pseuds/xbeauxny'>xbeauxny</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>who killed jason todd [english version] [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Jason Todd-centric, M/M, Matt Maeson, Protective Jason Todd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:49:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,533</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27455017</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/xbeauxny/pseuds/xbeauxny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Talia had made up her mind, she would save Bruce Wayne's two lost children. Not wanting to put a prize on her back but looking for redemption from all the things she had done wrong. Then, that night, she spotted the boy, he fought as if he knew his life depended on it, his fighting technique was still violent, and he was worse than she imagined. Jason didn't win that fight, he staggered out of that alley, with nothing else they could steal, and he didn't see it when the speeding car hit him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alfred Pennyworth &amp; Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon &amp; Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson, Cassandra Cain &amp; Jason Todd, Dick Grayson &amp; Jason Todd, Jason Todd &amp; Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd &amp; Damian Wayne, Jonathan Kent &amp; Damian Wayne &amp; Colin Wilkes, Lian Harper &amp; Roy Harper &amp; Jason Todd, Roy Harper &amp; Bruce Wayne, Roy Harper &amp; Jason Todd, Roy Harper/Jason Todd, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, Stephanie Brown &amp; Jason Todd, Talia al Ghul &amp; Damian Wayne, Talia al Ghul &amp; Jason Todd, Tim Drake &amp; Jason Todd, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>who killed jason todd [english version] [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002672</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>ii. cringe (english version)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is the second part of Who Killed Jason Todd, hope you guys like it, as I always say, English is not my first language, I hope I've translated it the right way, and I really hope you guys like.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> <iframe></iframe></p><p> </p><p>Jason Todd's life didn't get much better after he left his coffin. He walked by the streets with no memory, in a catatonic state, he still had impulses from his past life, and he knew that the person with the name he spoke wouldn’t come, he wasn’t sure why, but he felt that no one would come after him.</p><p> </p><p>It was difficult nights, he wandered aimlessly, without any emotion. The blood on his hands had dried, but his appearance still looked horrible, he was dirty from the dirt of the grave, and dirty from all the dirt on the streets he had to sleep on. Eating was complicated too, he didn't remember what it was like to have to steal to eat, but now that he had to beg, unable to speak, it was extremely more difficult.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Lover, come over, look what I’ve done</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’ve been alone so long, I feel like I’m on the run</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>This situation lasted for a few months. It was impressive that no one recognized the boy all this time, his father wouldn’t come to look for him, some people who knew of his condition, took enough steps for the man to think that the boy was still in the coffin. Of course, Jason walking the streets of Gotham, and each day being in a different place, made the situation three times more difficult.</p><p> </p><p>It was practically impossible to locate the boy. In Gotham, nobody saw, nobody heard, and nobody spoke. The fear that the atmosphere of the city passed was enough to silence anyone, Talia Al Ghul didn’t think so, when she discovered that her father had covered the departure of her beloved's second son from his own coffin, she feared for the newly returned life of the boy. She knew that her father was a man of many interests, and to see someone revive without using the Lazarus Pit was one of his interests.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Lover, come over, kick up the dust</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’ve got a secret starting to rust</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>She started looking for the boy behind the back of the League. She feared what her father would do if he found him first, so she had to be sure that she would find him first, and she would do things the way she thought was right. So, she searched, and feared. She feared for the son who was returned to the world, and she feared for the son she left behind while searching. Damian was just a child, but he was already being taken on a path that wasn’t what she wanted, and the main reason for that, was because the boy was the son of her beloved.</p><p> </p><p>Talia had made up her mind, she would save Bruce Wayne's two lost children. Not wanting to put a prize on her back but looking for redemption from all the things she had done wrong. Then, that night, she spotted the boy, he fought as if he knew his life depended on it, his fighting technique was still violent, and he was worse than she imagined. Jason didn't win that fight, he staggered out of that alley, with nothing else they could steal, and he didn't see it when the speeding car hit him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She said I’m looking like a bad man, smooth criminal</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She said my spirit doesn’t move like it did before</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She said that I don’t look like me no more, no more</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>She followed the ambulance they called. She heard the boy's desperate screams. She saw the doctors in panic, when they didn't know what to do with him, or who he was, or why he shouted that name. They called him John Doe, he had nothing, his fingers were more damaged than anything for a fingerprint test, he was too malnourished for a blood test to confirm identity.</p><p> </p><p>The doctors then pinned his hands to the stretcher, hoping that the boy wouldn’t run away or hurt himself, until they decided what to do with him. That night, the John Dow was taken from the hospital by five unknown men and a woman with a docile smile on her face. Nobody saw, nobody heard, and nobody said anything about what happened.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I said, “I’m just tired”, she said “you’re just high”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I said, “I saw you in the water”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I said, “I saw you in the water”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Jason Todd wasn’t a perfect example of Lazarus. The reasons for his return to the world were still a mystery, Talia kept him away from Ra's, but it wasn’t enough, the man was curious, and no one dared to say it, but he seemed envious too, he didn’t accept the fact that someone had returned to life without the same methods he mastered and called his own.</p><p> </p><p>The boy wasn’t a good addition to anything they did. He knew how to fight, it was in his system, but he didn’t know how to obey, speak or listen. Jason Todd had unlearned how to live, he had no moments of peace, Talia saw that every time the boy's tired head touched the pillow, he moved in agitation, and cried out for the name of her beloved, she knew that this situation would last for some time, and believed that she could awaken him from his catatonic state.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Lover, come hold me, head’s on the fritz</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gaudy intoxicated feelings comfortably mixed</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>She thought she would have time. She took advantage of every time she had with her children, saw the youngest bond with the lost boy, saw the kid read the same book every night, Jason didn't seem to understand, but something in Talia's heart wanted to believe that he recognized the tragic story of Shakespeare, and that would bring him back to the mansion's immense libraries. One day, <em>he would be back there</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Peace didn’t last long. Ra’s Al Ghul wasn’t satisfied, the demon's head challenged his daughter's protégé, placed one of his trained killers to fight the boy, wondering if the boy would ever be something of value. Jason fought well, the stimuli protected him as far as his fragile body could go, but when Talia saw the killer with a sword, against the boy without a weapon, her heart squeezed, and then... She killed the man, protecting the boy. She was punished for that, and that was the moment when Ra’s ordered, she either took the boy’s miserable life, or she searched for a way for him to be useful there.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Lover, come hold me, could you forget?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’ve got a secret, digging a debt</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>And then she did. She took off the boy's shirt, bandaged all the injuries caused in the fight, and blindfolded him. She didn't want Jason to see the green right away, she wanted him to hear things, to regain his consciousness little by little. She wanted him to live. She was afraid of some of his scars, most of them might not come out of his body, like some made by the clown, but the autopsy scar was the one she feared most.</p><p> </p><p>The precise Y-shaped cuts had made a perfect path through the boy's torso. She feared it would be a huge burden that he would always carry for life, a reminder that he had failed, a reminder that he had been deceived, a reminder that he had died. Talia didn't think when she held his hands, and walked to the beginning of the Pit, Ra’s was watching her with curious eyes, he thought his daughter wouldn’t have the courage. Jason didn't know what was going on, or why he wasn't listening to Shakespeare in Arabic that the child always read to him. With a reluctant sigh, Talia enters the well, pulling Jason's hands, and guiding the boy into the middle of the water, where she pushed the boy's body in, holding him down.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She said I’m looking like a bad man, smooth criminal</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She said my spirit doesn’t move like it did before</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She said that I don’t look like me no more, no more</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Her hands were shaking as she held the boy under the water. She feared that he would just drown, she feared it wouldn't work, and she feared the boy would hate her if it worked. Under the water, Jason struggled to breathe, it took a few minutes, and Talia's heart sank when she realized it wasn't working, and she cried when she saw the boy give up fighting.</p><p> </p><p>Everything seemed lost, Ra’s had a smile on his face, nobody would take Lazarus from him, nobody would have the courage. Everyone started to disperse, until there was a movement in the water, Talia felt the boy move in her hands, she felt life return to the boy's body, she felt relief, because it had worked. She smiles, watching the boy emerge from the water, and feels a shiver run down her spine when she hears the boy scream, he didn’t walk, but moved his arms desperately around his body, and the worst part was the screams.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I said, “I’m just tired”, she said “you’re just high”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I said, “I saw you in the water”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I said, “I saw you in the water”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>When Jason took off the blindfold that covered his eyes, he was afraid. Everything he saw was green, he felt the blood pumping through his veins, and he felt the water coming out of his ears, he screamed louder than his lungs could take it, he screamed because he was afraid, he screamed because he didn't remember anything, he shouted because he wanted his father there, and he shouted because he was conscious.</p><p> </p><p>He felt angry, he felt everything flow through his body, without his control. His eyes stop on Talia, who walked calmly, and spoke words of comfort, he didn't hear what she had to say, he cried and put his hands over his ears, squeezing hard, he didn't wanted to hear, he wanted his home, he wanted comfort, he wanted to stop feeling everything and nothing at the same time. <em>That night, Jason Todd had revived again</em>.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sweating all your sins out</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Putting all your thoughts back together</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Talia took him to the room she shared with the boys. He passed by the kid who asked why they had taken so long to the read, he went straight to the bathroom of the bedroom, standing under the shower. The woman just watched him in silence, she knew she couldn't leave him alone, mainly out of fear. Fear of him leaving when she wasn't looking.</p><p> </p><p>The boy was haunted by a constant reminder of the green. He felt he was going crazy little by little, his hands were shaking and his heart was beating fast, he felt every feeling being moved by anger, he felt the blood pumping through his veins, and he felt the water touching his skin. He remembered before his death, and it haunted him as much as the green he felt covering every inch of his body. And then, his anger turned to tears.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh, we just don’t blend now</em>
</p><p>
  <em>All of my attempts seem to weather</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh, I make you cringe now</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Don’t I make you cringe?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>— Why? — The boy asks, sitting on the floor, and staring at the woman, she didn't know how to answer, and just smiled, bending down, noticing that her biological son had entered the bathroom.</p><p>— We don't question the miracles, <em>Habibi</em>. — Jason looks confused at her, he didn't want to be part of a miracle, he wanted peace, he wanted not to feel everything and nothing at the same time. — We will help you with everything, even the most complicated things.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh, I make you cringe now</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Don’t I make you cringe?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>— Us? — Talia smiles, making room for little Damian to watch his brother, she gets up, turning off the shower, and looking at her two boys.</p><p>— This is Damian, my son. — Jason nods, running his hands over his eyes. — Your brother. — The older boy remains silent, watching the child that had about six years approaching him and extending his hand.</p><p>— My brother? — He shakes the little boy's hand, he had a snobbish smile, and he didn't look down for anything, very similar to someone who has been in his mind for a long time since he came out of the Pit.</p><p>— Technically, half-brother. — And that was when Jason understood, he nodded, accepting the towel that the woman was putting around his shoulders.</p><p>— Does <em>he</em> knows?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She said I’m looking like a bad man, smooth criminal</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She said my spirit doesn’t move like it did before</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She said that I don’t look like me no more, no more</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I said, “I’m just tired”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>— We didn't have enough time for introductions. — Damian steps back, when he sees his mother helping the other boy get up. They return to the bedroom, and Jason sees Damian sitting on one of the beds and picking up a book, Talia keeps her gaze on Jason, she looks at him curiously and worried. — <em>Habibi</em>, I can't look at you, and lie saying it will be easy.</p><p>— I don't want it to be. — The boy replies, staring at the floor, Talia puts a hand on one of his shoulders, giving a slight squeeze as if it would comfort him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>She said I’m looking like a bad man, smooth criminal</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She said my spirit doesn’t move like it did before</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She said that I don’t look like me no more, no more</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I said, “I’m just tired”, she said, “You’re just high”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>And I said, “I saw you in the water” <strong>(Do I make you cringe?)</strong></em>
</p><p> </p><p>— My dad won't make it easy, I'm sure he didn't approve my decision to take you in a dive into the well. — Jason nods, remaining silent, the woman takes pieces of clothing that she had already separated for the boy, and hands them over. — But we are going to make it work.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And I said, “I saw you in the water” <strong>(Do I make you cringe?)</strong></em>
</p><p> </p><p>— Damian, you and me. — She completes, looking at him with a smile, Jason wasn’t sure if he had to reciprocate, but just nods slightly. — Together.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And I said, “I saw you in the water” <strong>(Do I make you cringe?)</strong></em>
</p><p> </p><p>The newly born boy enters the bathroom, taking off his clothes completely, and returning to the shower. He felt a shiver run through his body, every time his hands touched the Y-shaped scar, he knew a lot about the side effects of the Pit, he took the trouble to read all of Batman's reports on Ra's Al Ghul, but knowing in theory, was totally different from being living with that in you.</p><p> </p><p>He knew it would be difficult, and he wanted to understand more about why he came back, and most of all he wanted to go home. Jason knew it wouldn't be a bed of roses, he would do his best going forward, and he would defend that boy with his life. He had just met him, but he didn't want Damian to follow the path of the league of assassins.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>And I said, “I saw you in the water” <strong>(Do I make you cringe?)</strong></em>
</p><p>
  <strong>  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>  </strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><a href="https://twitter.com/xbeauxxny">my twitter</a><br/><a href="https://xbeauxny.tumblr.com/">my tumblr</a> <br/><a href="https://www.wattpad.com/user/xbeauxny">my wattpad</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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